


Cards Against Cybertron - Expansion #1

by Artemis_Dreamer



Series: Cards Against Cybertron [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Cards Against Humanity, Cybertron, GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program), Gen, I Don't Even Know, Make Your Own, Modified Card Game, PDF Link
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 04:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12856413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Dreamer/pseuds/Artemis_Dreamer
Summary: The first expansion to my modified version of a popular and highly offensive card game.Fun to play, maybe a bit less fun to print out first.





	1. CARD LISTING

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Bigger, Blacker Bot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5048530) by [Enfilade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enfilade/pseuds/Enfilade). 



> WARNING: Cards Against Humanity is a game which contains a great deal of offensive/potentially triggering content. The Cybertronian version that I've created also contains similar content. Don't say I didn't warn you!

I am UNABLE to share the printable card images directly due to size and data constraints on the Archive. A compiled PDF of all 11 pages of cards can be downloaded at this link:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wltsxydttky9a2s/Cards%20Against%20Cybertron%20X1.pdf?dl=0

See below for a listing of all cards included. Full sized images can also be found in my Imgur album here: https://imgur.com/a/xxP6w

WHITE CARDS

PAGE 1  
Choking on a rust stick.  
Lugnut’s lugnuts.  
The Giant Purple Griffon Incident.  
A mech who can’t tell his crankcase from his driveshaft.  
Rung’s eyebrows.  
My first Rodimus Star.  
Trailbreaker.  
The tactile sensitivity of doorwings.  
Overly loud crystalsax music.  
Whirl. Just Whirl.  
A samurai fembot who transforms into a jet.  
Activating the Spark Extractor.  
Inefficient security protocols.  
The worst orn of my function.  
Teletraan I.  
Being broadsided by the Nemesis.  
Backing over it a few times, just to make sure.  
Emergency council meetings.  
The dark side of the moon.  
Rumble & Frenzy.

PAGE 2  
Inappropriate use of holoforms.  
Deliberately misleading designations.  
Semi-automatic weaponry.  
A stereotypical Polyhexian accent.  
Riding a shuttleformer (intimately).  
Riding a shuttleformer (for transport).  
Not taking Arcee seriously.  
A Neptune-sized crush on Elita One  
My chain-smoking voice actor.  
Slavery.  
Optimus Prime’s battlemask.  
A hyperactive sparkling with a warp drive.  
Skywarp.  
Trash compactors as a torture device.  
Allspark fragments.  
Cyberforming an organic world.  
Waxing.  
The dually appointed enforcer of the stick up my aft.  
Mutual pining.  
Glitter. 

PAGE 3  
Squishy fanfiction.  
Dreadwing & Skyquake.  
Rung’s model collection.  
The Lost Light.  
Prisoners of war.  
The Knights of Cybertron.  
Absolutely no respect whatsoever.  
Adopting the holiday traditions of an organic species.  
Professor Isaac Sumdac.  
Removable alt-mode kibble.  
All the right curves in all the right places.  
Non-consensual reformatting.  
Knockout’s fan club.  
Perverted old mechs.  
Getting stuck in a wall.  
Postage Prime.  
Cadet Strongarm’s tsundere tendencies.  
The Dark Star Sabre.  
Two femmes, one cube.  
Unquestioning loyalty. 

PAGE 4  
The spacebridge at the back of Megatron’s valve.  
The darkest timeline.  
Shotguns for leg struts.  
A combiner made out of combiners.  
A shot in the dark.  
The Constructicons, the Stunticons, AND the Combaticons.  
Truck nuts.  
A pool of Sharkticons.  
Making Blurr mute it for five frelling nanokliks.  
Getting sparked up by your worst enemy.  
Happiness.  
An oil-soaked rag.  
Some really fragged up slag.  
A Stage 3 rust infection.  
Three vorns in the hole.  
That aft.  
The harsh light of Hadeen.  
Statistically validated stereotypes.  
Sanding off a mech’s spike.  
Revenge fragging. 

PAGE 5  
The worst pain imaginable – in triplicate.  
Stockholm Syndrome.  
Ominous background music.  
Moral ambiguity.  
Mad lob-ball skills.  
Just the tip.  
24-cycle newsfeed coverage.  
Insatiable bloodlust.  
Historical revisionism.  
Converting to functionalism.  
Savagely beating a Maximal.  
Enormous warbuilt femmes.  
Breaking the Prime’s seal.  
Cold-constructed super-soldiers.  
Pharma’s vintage engex.  
Sexual humiliation.  
The post-war economy.  
An unstoppable wave of Insecticons.  
Slapping Overlord right in his ugly faceplates.  
Tearing out a mech’s still-functioning spark chamber. 

PAGE 6  
Glossa.  
Whining like a little glitch.  
Severe frostbite.  
Subduing a Predacon and making them your conjunx.  
Weapons-grade plutonium.  
Double penetration.  
Existing.  
Catastrophic valve trauma.  
A sad rusty Dinobot with no friends.  
Sucking spike in a back alley.  
The day the glitchmice attacked.  
Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.  
Deactivating alone and in pain.  
Gay aliens.  
Actually getting shot, for real.  
A decent parking spot.  
Letting everymech down.  
Purging unexpectedly during oral interface.  
Tesaurus’s energon-caked grinder blades.  
The galaxy’s most boring UFO.

PAGE 7  
A Rear Axle concert.  
Onlining in the medbay.  
Wrongful imprisonment.  
Transforming into a human.  
Oncoming traffic.  
Power.  
Crushing Rung’s pitiful frame in one massive servo.  
Purging, overloading, and glitching at the same time.  
Recreational astrology.  
A 55-gallon drum of lubricant.  
A mile-long warship.  
Self-insert characters.  
Mild idiocy.  
Maximal insertion.  
Bullscrap.  
A squadron of scouts equipped with stun batons.  
A nine-tailed electro-whip.  
Another shot of adrenaline.  
Scrap metal strewn all over the fragging road.  
Fifteen consecutive orns without recharge. 

PAGE 8  
A throne that says “I have power, but I like to be comfortable.”  
Tangled cables.  
Running through the base in your protoform.  
Being a busy mech with many important things to do.  
Galvatron’s sexual appetites.  
A bigger, blacker spike.  
Reincarnation.  
Binary code.  
The shambling husk of Nemesis Prime.  
A fortuitous Energon shipment.  
My first kill.  
Devastator’s enormous, rusted ball bearings.  
A wrench to the faceplates.  
An evil mech with evil intentions.  
A web of lies.  
A slightly shittier parallel universe.  
Repair nanites.  
Survivor’s guilt.  
A low standard of function.  
Post-traumatic stress disorder. 

BLACK CARDS

PAGE 1  
What really started the Cybertronian civil war?  
Want to freak out ____? Just mention ____.  
What is the latest addition to Rodimus Prime’s harem?  
The Decepticon Army wouldn’t be complete without ____.  
In time, Primus came to terms with ____.  
Unfortunately, ____ is not covered by spacecraft insurance.  
What do you get when you cross ____ and ____?  
____! For the third time this decaorn!  
Unicron himself fears the wrath of ____.  
How did I contribute to the reconstruction of Cybertron?  
____. There were no survivors.  
____. The gift that keeps on giving!  
Having problems with____? Try ____!  
Shanix can’t buy me love, but it can buy me ____.  
No-one should have to tolerate ____ in the barracks.  
____. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.  
The blind date improved when we discovered a mutual interest in ____.  
My function is ruled by a vicious cycle of ____ and ____.  
What you don’t know about ____ could kill you.  
I recently joined a support group for victims of ____.

PAGE 2  
Persistence is admirable, Prime, but you cannot win with ____ alone.  
Only two things in life are certain – death and ____.  
I spent my life working towards ____, only for it to be ruined by ____.  
If Primus didn’t want us to enjoy ____, he wouldn’t have given us ____.  
I went from ____ to ____, all thanks to ____.  
The five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, ____, and acceptance.  
This is your captain. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for ____.  
Before I am named Prime, I must destroy evidence of my involvement with ____.  
____ would be woefully incomplete without ____.  
And I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t been for ____.  
What has been making life difficult for the Dinobots?  
In a pinch, ____ can be substituted for ____.  
Historians agree that ____ marked the beginning of Cybertron’s decline.  
A mech must survive the Pits of Kaon with only ____ and his wits.  
A Cybertronian frame wasn’t meant to withstand that amount of ____!  
In its latest tourism campaign, Kaon claims to have eliminated ____.  
Science will never explain ____.  
There are rumors that the Senate has a secret chamber devoted to ____.  
The DJD now tortures traitors by subjecting them to ____.  
What brought the orgy to a grinding halt? 

PAGE 3  
What can’t Soundwave stand?  
Ratchet is sick and tired of ____.  
Kup was dishonorably discharged for adding ____ to the training course.  
After vorns of practice with ____, I think I’m finally ready for ____.  
With enough time and pressure, ____ will turn into ____.  
You haven’t functioned until you’ve experienced ____ and ____ together.  
Before ____, all we had was ____.  
____ is the ultimate in modern luxury.  
Spice up your interface routine by introducing ____ to the berthroom!  
The secret to a lasting sparkbond is communication and ____.  
I learned the hard way that you can’t cheer up a grieving teammate with ____.  
When all else fails, I can always self-service to ____.  
We regret to inform you that the Office of ____ denied your request for ____.  
Megatron’s plan for galactic domination begins with ____.  
____ is the worst possible feeling.  
I’d rather have ____ than a whole lot of ____.  
“____. You have three nanoklicks to comply.”  
What’s a fate worse than deactivation?  
____ is a complete load of bullscrap.  
There had better be a good reason that you’ve taken ____.


	2. BLACK CARDS

I am UNABLE to share the printable card images directly due to size and data constraints on the Archive. A compiled PDF of all 11 pages of cards can be downloaded at this link:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wltsxydttky9a2s/Cards%20Against%20Cybertron%20X1.pdf?dl=0

See below for preview thumbnails of the black cards. Full sized images can also be found in my Imgur album here: https://imgur.com/a/xxP6w

 


	3. WHITE CARDS

I am UNABLE to share the printable card images directly due to size and data constraints on the Archive. A compiled PDF of all 11 pages of cards can be downloaded at this link:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wltsxydttky9a2s/Cards%20Against%20Cybertron%20X1.pdf?dl=0

See below for preview thumbnails of the white cards. Full sized images can also be found in my Imgur album here: https://imgur.com/a/xxP6w

 

**Author's Note:**

> The original Cards Against Cybertron was the result of way too much time messing around in an image editor and way too much time coming up with perverted Transformers jokes. I have no excuses.
> 
> This is the first expansion of that game, inspired by the Red Box expansion of Cards Against Humanity, as well as a few suggestions from my uncle, a group chat, and reader comments.
> 
> I recommend printing on 80lb+ cardstock, in "color" for best results. Any print shop can do this, for an approximate price of $1 per page - Action shots of my expansion deck are coming soon!
> 
> Any and all feedback is appreciated. Shoot me.


End file.
